There are a lot of ways to put a basketball in a hoop, but I think it’s high time we start ranking all these moves so we know how to react when someone pulls it out of the bag. I pulled a bunch from the first two games (and one from the NBA Finals) and assigned them a grade. I also gave them silly names, because life is too short for proper nomenclature.
Note: Some of these grades may seem silly since most of these clips involve shots going in, but part of this exercise is evaluating looks regardless of if they go in or not. We have to fight against people saying a team that missed 40 of 45 threes took “bad shots.” Perhaps they were good, they just missed. That’s what we’re here to find out.
The “Jayson Tatum is literally just bigger and stronger than you and is going to the rim whether you like it or not”
Grade: A-
If Tatum was LeBron James, Skip Bayless would spend hours and hours asking him to please just do this. When the Celtics are dying and need a bucket like they need water, this is what I want them to go to.
I sometimes feel like Tatum forgets that he’s absolutely ginormous. He’s listed at 6’8”, but he’s probably closer to 6’10” and has the musculature of post-spinach Popeye the Sailor Man. But because of his once-wirey frame and shot-making ability, sometimes he prefers pull-up threes or high degree of difficulty moves. Maybe he wants to play like prime Kevin Durant, but his body wants him to bull rush through people like prime LeBron.
The minus comes from the fact that it’s an isolation dribble-drive, and doesn’t involve anybody else. Over time, that can get stale. But this is the bread and butter of Tatum’s scoring greatness, and he should feed teams doses like it’s honey and he’s their grandma and they have a sore throat.
The “role player is magnetically attracted to the corner and straps a three”
Grade: A
Listen up, Xavier Tillman, Sam Hauser, and Payton Pritchard: I’m sure you guys have complex offensive roles that require moving parts I couldn’t begin to understand. But when you don’t know where to stand, I’d like to cordially request you find the corner.
Corner threes are home cooking in the modern NBA. It’s a uniquely efficient shot, and winning teams take a healthy amount of them. Corner threes can also make offensive rebounding easier, and standing there allows for five-out spacing and a super dynamic offense.
My one request: fire away. The downfall of Grant Williams is when he started trying to pump fake and attack closeouts like he was Donovan Mitchell. Just shoot it if you get it, a refrain that I’m sure Joe Mazzulla has ringing in these guys’ ears.
The “Derrick White float game and/or push shot”
Grade: B
This grade just depends on how he’s feeling. Floaters aren’t a super high percentage look unless you’re super good at them — like prime Tony Parker or right now, Trae Young — but if White is seeing the range and touch he needs on a certain night, by all means go for it.
It’s definitely not my favorite shot, but some older Celtics teams relied on White’s floaters and push shots to score in the half court. But those days are gone, and I have no interest in going back.
The “vaguely legal screen handoff three”
Grade: A+
This shot rules, and the Celtics do it all the time. For the life of me, I can’t figure out how this isn’t a moving screen, nor do I know what a moving screen even is anymore. But if the NBA is cool with it, it’s an insanely efficient way to generate an open three.
It was pioneered by Draymond Green circa 2015, when he and Stephen Curry figured out they could leverage more space by handing the ball off and taking an unassuming step forward. It’s diabolical, but if Al Horford can pull it off with everybody else, sign me the heck up!
The “chuck a three in transition because… reasons”
Grade: C+
Any three is an A if it goes in, and I might actually be wrong about this analytically. It’s well documented how volume of threes = winning, and this is a good way to get up a high volume of threes. But this is not the kind of basketball I like to watch, so it gets a C+.
Chucking a three in transition is a high risk, medium reward move. If you make it, it’s a good possession that didn’t take much time off the clock. But if you miss, it’s a disaster; everyone who didn’t touch the ball is now annoyed that they have to run back on defense, fans throw their hands up and say, “why don’t we go to the basket!! Or at least set up the offense?” It can be worth the air the ball flies through, but usually isn’t.
The “Tatum whiffs a layup and goes flying like a sack of potatoes”
Grade: F
This works like… once every 150 times. Tatum has gotten better in this regard, but smoking a layup and then going down like a European soccer player that got breathed on has a terrible hit rate of winning fouls. In fact, it probably makes the referees more likely to keep their whistle in their pocket.
The only thing worse than this is when the Celtics are getting beat bad, and Tatum not only goes full drama-dive but also throws his hands up in the air and spends the next 10 minutes chatting up the refs about it. I hate this. F.
The “the other team forgot about Neemias Queta/Luke Kornet… throw them a lob!”
Grade: B
This is the quintessential “if it’s there, go for it” move. You basically cannot do it intentionally, as Queta and Kornet aren’t exactly Shawn Kemp rolling to the basket on a pick-and-roll. But if the other team overcommits and leaves them wide open? Toss it up!
This could theoretically apply to any player capable of catching a lob, but I really do not want Horford and Kristaps Porzingis going up for lobs. Their knees are needed for bigger things than that.
The “Jaylen Brown has access to angles you simply do not…shot”
Grade: B+
I really like these shots, but I still don’t fully understand them. Jaylen is the president and CEO of taking shots that make you go, “really, Jayl… oh, it went in. Cool!” I know this exercise was supposed to look at shots irrespective of them going in, but Brown is one of the few people alive I trust to take and make these shots.
What makes Tatum and Brown so dangerous as a duo is their ability to pull a shot out of a coin purse if their team needs them to. Their offense can’t ever be completely stymied, and it’s because of shots like this.
The “Brown/Tatum step-back/side-step three”
Grade: D
I know what I just said about the Jays pulling shots out of tight places, but this stuff has a tendency to drive me nuts. My friends and I have joked for years that we always know when they’re going to chuck a three. You can just see it in their eyes, and if we can see it, so can the defense.
If they make it, great. Cool. Sick. But it can just as easily be a bailout for the defense when the Celtics have so many scarier options to throw at teams. Don’t give them freebies, even if they go in occasionally.
The “Payton Pritchard half-court shot to basically win the NBA Finals”
Grade: A+++++ and you automatically pass the class
Best shot ever. 100 percent approval rating. If you don’t like this shot, I don’t know what to tell you. Inject this shot into my veins. Start a church based on this shot and baptize me in its holy waters.
I don’t need to explain why this is awesome. It was only halftime, but this was the nail in the coffin for Banner 18. 13/10, would do again.
