Jrue Holiday and Derrick White should be All-Defensive players. Please?

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s the best defensive backcourt in the league, Derrick White and Jrue Holiday!

On September 28, I wrote that “the Celtics should absolutely trade for Jrue Holiday,” which included a whole section about what trade packages would make sense. I openly stated I would be alright with trading Malcolm Brogdon—who seemed unhappy anyway—as well as Robert Williams III and/or Payton Pritchard, but also that if any blogger, reporter, or 6th grader in Boston advocated for trading White for Holiday I would completely lose it.

Of course, that was never in the cards. The Celtics knew how good White was and had no interest of shipping off the 29-year-old—who is something between a star and the best role player of all time—for the 33-year-old Holiday for what would amount to maybe a minor upgrade and potentially a downgrade.

My real concern was the Portland would draw the line at White versus Brogdon, saying that they had no interest in the disgruntled Sixth Man of the Year and wanted to center the deal around White and Williams III. But thankfully, the Trail Blazers had no interest in winning games and couldn’t find a better offer.

And… man.

If you asked me what my best case scenario for Holiday on the Celtics was, here’s what I would have said: defensive quarterback, ready and able to guard the NBA’s best wings and guards one-on-one. Real offensive chops, ability to bail the Celtics out of bad situations, and shoot around 38 percent from beyond the arc. That would have been gravy.

Instead, we’ve been treated to not only gravy, but the accompanying turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and apple pie. My vision for Holiday guarding the Damian Lillards and Jalen Brunsons of the world on an island has been replaced with an infinitely cooler version: he and White roaming around like free safeties and obliterating plays before they even have a chance to develop.

Call them White Christmas (get it, because Christmas is a Holiday?), the Stock Exchange (Steals + Blocks = Stocks… I’m not sold), or whatever you want to. Watching those two play off each other has been a treat like no other. So let’s give them some awards for their hard work. Please, NBA media, can we give them some awards?

Derrick White

Possible Awards: All-Defensive First Team (maybe), All-Defensive Second Team (please, bro)

Likely award coolness ranking: B/A Tier (Used to win arguments about if a player is actually good or not/Wikipedia Article enhancer)

Jrue Holiday

Possible Awards: All-Defensive First Team (probably a better chance than White), All-Defensive Second Team (very likely)

Likely award coolness ranking: B/A Tier (Used to win arguments about if a player is actually good or not/Wikipedia Article enhancer)

Look, I can’t predict All-Defensive teams, nor should I even be trusted to. I frankly have no idea if Jalen Suggs or Holiday is a better defender, nor am I even really sure how I’m supposed to compare guys like White to Rudy Gobert since their games are about as similar to a unicycle and a 1999 Toyota Corolla. They’re both modes of transportation… with wheels… yeah that’s all I got.

Between guys like Suggs and Alex Caruso versus White and Holiday, the “best” defender would be whoever most players in the league would least like guarding them with the game on the line. That’s not something we can easily measure—but we kind of can, which we’ll discuss later—and I’m not jealous of the voters who have to make these calls.

So instead of telling you why the members of White Christmas are better defenders than the rest of the field, I’m just going to articulate how freaking amazing they are as best as I can. Then we can all just leave it up to fate. Deal? Deal.

Holiday has been one of the NBA’s best defenders—if not the very best—throughout his long and decorated career, and this season has seen him adapt his clamps to a more freeing system. He doesn’t have to shut down the other team’s best player while Giannis Antetokounmpo roams and Brook Lopez drops on every screen. He actually gets to do some roaming, allowing his instincts to disrupt all five choke points of the half court.

On the other side of the aisle we have White, who—with increased playing time—has become one of the NBA’s best shot blockers, not merely among guards. He is 16th in the NBA in blocks per game, but is the only guard in the top-20. All 15 guys ahead of him are 6’10” or taller, with White coming in at a cool 6’4”.

What’s even cooler is how he achieves these blocks. Most of the NBA’s swat artists are pure rim protectors, camping in the paint and spiking any floating orange sphere into the shadow realm. But White is cooler than that, usually following his mark from the point of attack all the way to the rim and then swallowing the shot at any point during the motion. He will also chase you down from behind or just block a three-pointer like he’s playing in slow motion. It’s bonkers to watch.

Photo by Brian Babineau/NBAE via Getty Images

On the Celtics, straight up one-on-one guarding duties have fallen mostly to Jaylen Brown and occasionally Jayson Tatum, with a smattering of Al Horford when a few larger customers—namely Joel Embiid—show up. But Holiday has even had success guarding Embiid in the post, as he has the physical profile to at least survive in that matchup and the footwork to make the reigning MVP constantly second guess himself.

Does your team have a point guard that can defend one of the most physically dominant centers in NBA history? Yeah, ours has two. Next question.

White and Holiday have also been sacrifice machines, giving up what could be much larger roles on other teams in favor of buckling down on the Celtics and trying to win. This says nothing of their offensive impact, which has been immense. White is third in the NBA in plus/minus, while Holiday is shooting a preposterous 42.9 percent from beyond the arc, good for 6th in the NBA. He’s also hitting over 60 percent of his corner threes, which sounds like a fake number.

Holiday recently signed a four-year extension to remain in Boston, and one can only hope White does the same this offseason. The path towards doing that isn’t entirely straightforward, as White may have to leave some money on the table to stay in Boston depending on how the books straighten out. If White moves elsewhere, I’ll probably need a week to recover.

For now, I hope the voters got the gist. These guys are ballers, plain and simple. They bring defense, winning, and impeccable vibes to every Celtics function they attend, and that will be invaluable in the playoffs. In my under-researched and very biased opinion, they deserve All-Defensive nods.

And that concludes this year’s awards predictions! Kristaps Porzingis unfortunately will not be hitting the 65-game mark, and while Al Horford is the Sixth Man of the Year in my heart, he won’t be taking that one home in the real world. Cheers to an amazing season, and the honors that may or may not come with it!

Side note: these three articles evaluating Celtics award cases were written entirely on long-distance train rides through Central Europe. The governments of Slovenia, Switzerland, and Germany do not officially endorse this content, but I bet they would if I asked nicely.