‘The whole world laughed at me. It hurt my feelings’

MB: The Knicks hurt my feelings. On the court, I had Kurt Rambis there. I think 15 or 20 games into the season, Kurt came to me and asked me if I thought I should be playing? I said, “Yeah.” He said, “Before I ask you why, every time you go on the floor, just show the coach why you should be playing.” I had something to play for. Off the court, nobody knows this, but I found out my mom had cancer going into training camp in New York. That was extra motivation. I used to drive down after every game and every practice to Baltimore and kick it with my mom.

New York hurt my feelings so badly. I really wanted to stay in New York for the rest of my career. I had a good year. We were losing, but I was a bright spot. I used to drive after every practice and every game or get on the train to see my mom because she had cancer. At the end of the season in the exit meeting, the flight home from the last game was when they fired Jeff Hornacek. They had Corey Gaines do our exit meetings. I walk in, and he runs down my stats for the year. In my mind, I’m like you finally did it, got a nice contract, and solidified yourself a home for at least three years.

If you look at my career, even dating back to high school, I’ve never played anywhere more than two years. I patted myself on the back, walking into the exit meeting with Steve Mills. I walk into the meeting, and they look at me to my face and say, “Michael Beasley is one of the most talented players that ever put on a Knicks jersey, but how does that help us win?” This is one of the times I wish I had more confidence because I was literally lost for words. That confused me. After maybe 20 or 30 seconds of silence, they said some positive things, and they’d keep in contact with my agent. That wasn’t the part that hurt my feelings. I was so close to my mom, and my dream was to play in DC and be home, but being in New York was as good as I could get to playing in DC as far as being close to my mom.

Free agency came up, and we were negotiating. While we were negotiating my contract, it shocked me that they didn’t want to give me more than one year. They wanted me to come back to New York on a veteran minimum deal. I was like, that’s not fair. At least give me $1 million more. While we were negotiating, they signed Mario Hezonja. They gave him my number, and they gave him the contract I asked for, which forced me to sign in Los Angeles with the Lakers. People think I wanted to go sign in Los Angeles. Not that I didn’t, but Los Angeles and Oklahoma City were the other teams that wanted me. To fly six hours away after being a three or four-hour drive away from my mom that took a toll on me. That’s the part that hurt my feelings. I didn’t deserve that, and she didn’t deserve that.

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