Sounds of the Celtics: finding the perfect track for every rotation player

At the tail-end of Jaylen Brown’s appearance on “Hot Ones” with Sean Evans, moments after eating a wing doused in Da’ Bomb Beyond Insanity (Scoville Level: 135,600), a question about studying a player’s rhythm and cadence sparked this answer:

“I look at basketball as like poetry in motion, which is music, and everybody is playing their own song and everybody samples from different artists,” Brown said. “If you want to stop them, you’ve got to study their rhythm, you’ve got to learn when their beat is about to drop.”

That’s a pretty beautiful way to look at this game, and as someone who loves trying to find the perfect song to match a buzzer-beater highlight, it furthered my interest in the intersection between music and sports.

It also sparked inspiration based around a simple question: What song encapsulates the playstyle or career of the players of this Celtics team?

To answer this extremely subjective question, I set up a loose criteria, of which each player/song combination only needs to check off one:

1) Does the sound match or accurately emulate the player’s style, personality or career?

2) Does it lyrically connect in any way to the player’s career or style?

3) Would this song work in a highlight video for the player in question?

I decided to stick to just the top-10 players within the rotation (sorry Baylor, Neemias, Jaden, Jordan, etc.), though feel free to further the discussion for those players down in the comments. I don’t believe there’s a wrong answer in this exercise, but hey, I could be way off-base, and I encourage anyone and everyone to call out a song that doesn’t fit. Let’s have a good time, share some music, and discuss the sounds of the Celtics.

Jayson Tatum – “Because I’m Me” by The Avalanches (featuring Camp Lo)

In the opening minutes of “Because I’m Me,” lyrics sampled from a 1955 song by Six Boys in Trouble called “Why Can’t I Get it Too,” beg the question, “what can you do when they don’t love you?”

The answer: “put on your best pair of shoes and love yourself.” It then introduces a sweeping level of triumphant, strings-based enthusiasm before 90’s hip-hop duo Camp Lo storms in and takes over.

It feels like a song that checks all three boxes for the Jayson Tatum Experience: a style blending old and new, lyrically rising above the maligning voices and doubts of greater success. It’s a rejuvenating track, and one that I can perfectly envision being placed behind a montage of Jayson’s graceful ballhandling and fall away baseline jumpers.

Fans of this team have often wondered just what Jayson has to do to earn a certain level of respect reserved for the elites of the game. At the end of the day, all he can do is get on the court, and be himself.

Jaylen Brown: “Me and Your Mama” by Childish Gambino

Lyrically, a song about unrequited love may not add up with the style of Jaylen Brown. It’s instead the feeling this song gives off, or rather, the feelings spread across its three-part, 6:19 runtime.

The opening two minutes of “Me and Your Mama” are hypnotic and dream-like, lulling you to sleep like an ankle-breaking crossover. Imagine a slow motion mid-range highlight at this stage, with Jaylen soaring off both feet, right on his sweet spot on the elbow, releasing off a nearly-unblockable and oftentimes automatic jumper that touches only nylon.

Now picture a thunderous jam (and there are countless to choose from) where Jaylen sends a defender flying to the floor. That is where the second part comes in, with a thunderous guitar riff, powerful drums and Donald Glover belting out an electric falsetto. That is the side of Jaylen Brown that sends the crowd into a frenzy. We’ve seen it a million times.

And then it falls back down to the quiet finale, back to where it began minutes before. It represents a player that can just as easily dazzle with a smooth bag of tricks as he can embarrass you with the force of a Mack Truck.

Derrick White: “Buffalo” by Toro y Moi

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but I do think it extends beyond the title.

Lyrically, “Buffalo” describes a total jagoff, about as far off as you can get from the personality of Derrick White. So that doesn’t quite fit, although the refrain (Cause you love it all/Cause you’ll find a way to keep on) can be redirected into its own spin on the much-loved “Buffalo” that protects the rim better than just about any guard I’ve ever seen play the game of basketball.

We’ll still stay that box is left unchecked, but the other two I believe match the style of the great two-way guard. Coming on the album What For?, the genre-crossing Toro y Moi opted for a 70s psychedelic rock sound on this record, blending modern indie rock elements to a more classic rock style. It’s an effortlessly cool, upbeat jam coming from one of the more balanced indie artists around today. It’s a jack-of-all-trades artist running parallel to a jack-of-all-trades player.

More than anything, I think this checks off at least the box of highlight-worthy music.

Photo by Danielle Parhizkaran/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Jrue Holiday: “Elephant” by Tame Impala

This really follows the same guidelines of the Derrick White choice to a tee.

Yes, it’s another modern psychedelic jam about an egotistical jerk which lyrically features no connection to the style or career of Jrue Holiday, but “Elephant” just feels like it belongs in a Holiday highlight reel.

Jrue Holiday is an absolute rock star defensively. He’s physical, constantly engaged, always fighting, scratching, clawing to disconnect the player from the ball. The song, part of the masterpiece record Lonerism, has a bassline that stomps through every lyric, matched with a punching drumline and thumping rhythm, perfectly reflecting the menacing experience of Jrue Holiday hunting down a loose ball, or using his body to absorb contact just to swipe at the ball at the right time.

It’s a match made in heaven to me.

Kristaps Porzingis: “Never Ending Story” by Limahl

There’s a good chance I’ve lost some people by this point in the starting five, I understand that. If I hadn’t before, surely this is the one to raise eyebrows.

How do you describe a player as unique as Kristaps Porzingis? This was probably the hardest one to think of honestly. Ultimately I opted to find a song that embodies “The Unicorn.”

“Never Ending Story” captures the fantastical, distinctly awe-inspiring experience of seeing a man that’s 7-foot-2 shoot from 28 feet out, run off screens like a wing, and send shots flying as a rim protector.

Full disclosure, I’ve never even seen the movie this song is tied to. I saw the band MGMT play it live once, and it’s about as ingrained into the cultural zeitgeist as an 80s song can be thanks to its inclusion in an episode of Stranger Things, so hopefully this isn’t a completely left-field choice.

All this to say, we’ve really never seen many players like Porzingis, even as more outrageous size/skill big men make their way into the league. The insanity of a seven-footer with this level of on-ball skill should be matched by a song equally as filled with wonder.

Al Horford: “Everything Flows” by Teenage Fanclub

I was in high school when my brother introduced me to Teenage Fanclub’s “Everything Flows,” a song that packs so much greatness into five minutes that I wished it’d go on forever.

Never in that time since the first listen had I ever associated it with Al Horford. 90s indie rock is not exactly the first thing that comes to mind with Horford, and I’d find it hard to see this song ever working in a highlight video of any sort either, yet it somehow resonates with the way Horford’s career has gone up to his 18th season.

It sprouts from the song’s opening lyrics (You get older every year/But you don’t change/Or I don’t notice you’re changing). The reliable, seasoned veteran that’s nearly two decades into his NBA career has remained a constant factor wherever he goes (unless you’re a disgruntled Philadelphian I suppose).

The song’s final 1:45 is dedicated to a monumental solo, ending on a high note before calmly fading down. It’s the part of the song that I feel could go on for another five minutes without it overstaying its welcome. In a way, it’s that element that speaks to the career arc Horford’s been on since a legendary college career. It’s yet to slow down, reaching an ultimate peak at the very end. It’s something I think most fans wished would last forever.

Sam Hauser: “Spinoza” by Generationals

The goal for Sam Hauser was to find a song that accurately captured the feeling of trying to keep up with an off-ball shooter.

I was reminded of a music video for the song “Spinoza” by indie duo Generationals, which features the two band members running down city streets and New Orleans suburbs with GoPro cameras attached to them. It matches a jangly, guitar-heavy surf rock sound with an unrelenting and light-on-its-feet rhythm that feels like it belongs in a chase scene.

Sam Hauser is more than just an off-ball threat these days, but it’s a calling card that’s helped make him one of the most fun rotation players to watch develop in Boston. Here, we find a track that embodies that terrifying reality of tracking a sharpshooter weaving around screens into open space, a chase that rarely proves successful for the defender tasked with following him.

Photo by Brian Sevald/NBAE via Getty Images

Payton Pritchard: “Sure Shot” by Beastie Boys

Right after Payton Pritchard was selected 26th overall in the 2020 NBA Draft, the ESPN broadcast flashed clips across the screen of Payton’s impressive stationary ball-handling routine. It was around then that I knew that Danny Ainge had just drafted a full-on hooper of the highest pedigree.

I don’t place a Beastie Boys track onto a player lightly, those are dedicated for only coolest, most impressive types of skill players, but “Sure Shot” belongs to the sharpshooting, breakneck Oregon ballhandler.

I love the Ill Communication-era of the Beastie Boys, and this track’s rapid back-and-forths, energetic flute loop and old-school cool vibe perfectly matches the play style of Pritchard.

Luke Kornet: “Higher” by Creed

The idea of a song called “Higher” being reserved for a 7-foot-2 big man is a little funny, and that’s a fairly large reason I have it attached to him.

I think Kornet deserves something a little on the goofier side. After all, he’s the light-hearted veteran big man of the group, with a dry sense of humor and a lovable bench energy that people have really responded to since his first appearance in green in 2021.

And as strange as it sounds, I think I can see a highlight video attached to this song. Those post-dunk celebrations matching to the chorus feels like something Kornet-approved. Because yeah, this 7-foot goofball does in fact take it higher (to a place where blind men see).

Xavier Tillman: “Outstanding” by The Gap Band

For the chronically online, this may seem like a terrible choice, or even an insulting one.

For the uninformed, “Outstanding” has been extremely prevalent on NBA Twitter, matching with a highlight montage of Nets-era Kevin Garnett that’s meant as a roundabout way of saying someone is washed. I’ll admit, it’s pretty funny, but it’s not the reason I have it here for Xavier Tillman, the 25-year-old big man with the looks and on-court savvy of a 35-year-old veteran.

This song feels like everything is in its right place. The heartfelt and charming melody, smooth background harmonies, infectious bassline, and foot-tapping groove make for a prime 80s funk jam.

Xavier Tillman is a pretty great bench big, capable of defending multiple positions, setting up teammates as a playmaker and fitting exactly in the system however he is needed. I guess another way of saying it is, he’s “Outstanding.”

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The rest of the roster, I leave up to you, but I want to hear what you think. What worked? What absolutely didn’t? And how would you approach certain players?