Celtics Game Show: Real Joe Mazzulla quote or AI-generated response?

Spider-Man is awesome. People love Spider-Man.

Basketball is awesome. People love basketball.

Spider-Man and basketball have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

But Joe Mazzulla found a way.

“Ever seen Spider-Man? … Into the Spider-Verse? There’s like, 20 different Spider-Men? That’s like our team,” Mazzulla told reporters.

Mazzulla is a quote machine. Every game, he spits out a new phrase that goes viral on social media, and fans either love him or hate him for it. There’s rarely an in-between.

The Boston Celtics head coach has been an erratic ball of entertainment, at one point even prompting the media to ask him about his favorite movie scene.

“No one’s ever asked me what my favorite scene from ‘The Town’ was,” Mazzulla said. “I know you guys know that’s my favorite movie. None of you have ever been curious what my favorite scene is? My favorite one is Dougie MacRay getting ready to leave the town,” Mazzulla added. “And he skips by the FBI’s car and he leaves a nice, well-thought-out handwritten note underneath the antenna and then gets out of town. That’s my favorite scene.”

Joe Mazzulla:

By the way, no one has ever asked what my favorite scene in the Town is. Doesn’t any one want to ask?

Mazzulla then tells us his favorite scene: pic.twitter.com/IlWzhvcl5X

— Cameron Tabatabaie (@CTabatabaie) January 10, 2024

(Extra context for this one: Mazzulla was asked about coaches criticizing referees and his thoughts on some calls. Go look up what the note he’s talking about said…)

From movie references to consistently looking at the PR team when a reporter asks him about injury availability, off-the-rails antics have become a Mazzulla staple.

His quotes have become so unique that they almost seem AI-generated…

Are they?

Here are 14 quotes from Mazzulla. Except seven of them were generated by AI.

Celtics fans may know which ones are from the man himself, but that’s only because they’ve paid close attention. For those that haven’t, can you spot the difference?

1. “That makes me think about how each coaching realm is different,” Mazzulla said. “How the baseball managers wear their jerseys. And then hockey wears suits. Football, you get to wear hats. Like, I’d like to wear a hat and a hoodie on the sideline, but you know, apparently, that’s not allowed. For whatever reason.”

2. “Are you wearing a tie?” Mazzulla asked a reporter. “Wow. I was gonna say, seeing some of your outfits, I didn’t expect a suit and tie.”

3. “We don’t just shoot threes- we practice them, we study them, and when they fall, they’re a testament to our hard work,” Mazzulla said.

4. “I told a couple of jokes in the third quarter,” Mazzulla said. “They were pretty inappropriate jokes. But it broke the tension because we were playing with the expectation of ‘Why is the game going the way it’s going?’ instead of just enjoying the fact this is a game and we should just compete.”

5. “I told them that if they keep this up, I’ll have to sub myself in, and trust me, nobody wants to see that,” Mazzulla said. “But on a serious note, we regrouped. Had a good laugh.”

6. “Nice to see you’re keeping it casual today,” Mazzulla said to a reporter. “I almost wore my pajamas too.”

7. “I just finished reading a great article that you wrote in 2016 that the Celtics shot too many threes, and they shot 42,” Mazzulla said to a reporter. “And that was seven years ago. And they only shot five more tonight. And they lost 121-114, and you blamed the offense. But not the defense. So, what’s your fascination with too [many] threes? For the last seven years.”

8. “I was reading this book the other day, and it got me thinking about how we’re all connected in some way,” Mazzulla said. “It’s like we’re all pieces of a puzzle, trying to fit together to make something beautiful. Kind of like when you’re cooking a meal – each ingredient has its own flavor, but when you put them all together, it creates something amazing. Just like in basketball, right?”

9. “Well, everyone’s entitled to their opinion, just like how everyone’s entitled to take a half-court shot blindfolded,” Mazzulla said.

10. “Well, that’s the most original question I’ve heard all day,” Mazzulla said. “I’ll make sure to ponder it deeply as I lose sleep tonight. In the meantime, we’ll focus on bouncing back and, who knows, maybe I’ll even come up with some new plays.”

11. “I’m a bird brain. You know I can’t do that,” Mazzulla said when asked about the injury report.

12. “I don’t mind getting booed. It’s good for you,” Mazzulla said.

13. “I’ll just call a timeout every time someone tweets about it.”

14. “I’ve grown to absolutely endear it and love it,” Mazzulla said of the criticism he gets. “And I think it’s beautiful.”

Now, please enjoy this elevator music (some super cool pictures of Mazzulla) as you ponder your responses. The answers will be below the images.

Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images

1. REAL

When Jayson Tatum and Derrick White wore headbands against the Brooklyn Nets, Mazzulla was asked if he would ever wear one on the sidelines. He went on a tangent about what coaches in different sports get to wear.

2. REAL

As CelticsBlog and CLNS reporter Bobby Manning was asking a question, Mazzulla stopped him mid-sentence to ask him about his outfit.

3. FAKE

AI prompt: Make up a Joe Mazzulla quote about three-point shots.

4. REAL

After the Celtics’ near-disastrous game against the Washington Wizards, Mazzulla admitted that he told some jokes in the third quarter to help lighten the mood.

5. FAKE

AI prompt: Make up a funny Joe Mazzulla quote about him telling a story to reporters about what he told his team in the middle of a blowout loss.

6. FAKE

AI prompt: Make up a Joe Mazzulla quote where he mocks a reporter for wearing casual attire.

7. REAL

When Gary Washburn of The Boston Globe asked Mazzulla about the Celtics’ three-point attempts, the coach came back with this response.

8. FAKE

AI prompt: Make up a Joe Mazzulla quote where he goes on a random tangent about a random subject that’s not related to sports.

9. FAKE

AI prompt: Make up a Joe Mazzulla quote subtly mocking someone who called him a bad coach.

10. FAKE

AI prompt: Make up a sarcastic quote from Celtics head coach Joe Mazzulla after a reporter asks him a question that he doesn’t like.

11. REAL

Mazzulla was asked about a doctor’s opinion about a couple of Celtics injuries but said he couldn’t answer. Instead, he mocked Kendrick Perkins’ comments about him.

12. REAL

Following the Celtics’ loss to the LeBron James-less, Anthony Davis-less Los Angeles Lakers, Mazzulla dropped this quote that had fans less-than-pleased on social media.