Mission Unpossible: can anyone actually guard the Jays?

My early life Simpsons fandom is a bedrock of my personality to this day. It’s also responsible for me using the word “embiggen” legitimately for longer than I’d like to admit. The show, in its brilliance, was responsible for creating multiple, convincing words. The aforementioned embiggen being one (which is actually now in the dictionary), but my favorite was always courtesy of Ralph Wiggum. Here’s the scene:

I envision “unpossible” as a bit different than impossible. A task being impossible necessarily means that it’s worthwhile to try. You are accepting the reality that the possibility of completing the task exists, but it is just unachievable, unless you are Tom Cruise. Unpossible is that the solution to the problem, the conclusion of the task, has never existed. There is no reality, scenario, or timeline where that problem was or could have been resolved.

Guarding the Jays is unpossible.

Here’s the players the Jays scored the most points against last season. You will see some familiar names and some excellent defenders. You will also see some guys that are… less excellent defenders.

I don’t love matchup data, but like Ms. Krabappel at her best, it can be somewhat instructive. There are three players that are notably absent from either Jays’ list: OG Anunoby, Mikal Bridges, and Jaden McDaniels, three guys that if you were creating a Jays defender in a lab in some sort of Professor Frink experiment (which why would you, you monster), the creation would look pretty close to those three.

In fact, over the last few years, Bridges, McDaniels, and Anunoby have done quite well when matched up directly with the Jays. Bridges and McDaniels especially have held the Jays well below their average FG% when defending them.

But here’s the rub with defending the Jays: it’s not actually about defending the Jays. Or at least it isn’t anymore. Even if you have one of these elite defenders, maybe even two in the case of the Knicks and Minnesota Timberwolves (depending on how you feel about Anthony Edwards and/or NAW), that doesn’t matter. The Jays no longer let defenses off the hook by attacking these types of guys.

Instead, they are surgical in their offensive approach, and it’s not just about finding the weakest defender and exploiting them off the dribble. It’s about understanding the gameplan, understanding your opponent’s weaknesses, executing on and off ball, and making them “bleed their own blood,” to quote Nelson Muntz.

The Knicks game was rife with examples of the Jays, and especially Tatum, involving Karl Anthony-Towns in pick-and-rolls, and destroying the Knicks from there. Sometimes, it’s that simple.

Why attack Bridges when a simple screen will send KAT stumbling around like Homer after a few too many Duffs? It’s an easy, walk-in three.

Tatum comes off this down screen into a handoff with pace and purpose, it results in a wide-open middy that he makes. The excellent defense of Bridges totally neutralized by a nifty Spanoulis action.

When they do have the wrong defender on them, they do not hesitate to attack. Here, Jaylen has Josh Hart in a semi-transition crossmatch. He flies straight downhill to the rim. He trips, manages to sneak out a pass, and then Tatum finds him right after for an easy two via a tip-in.

They’ve also drastically improved as off-ball players. Often, they simply move without it to provide an advantage to a teammate. The Jays know how much attention they get, and they leverage it against teams. It can be subtle, and it’s important to maintain spacing when moving off-ball, which both are excellent at. Here’s JB drifting away from Anunoby into a pocket of space after OG helps on the Jrue/Horford pick and roll.

He’s attacking downhill the second he catches it and finds Jrue for a wide open 3. Cooked worse than Principal Skinner’s steamed hams.

Joe also needs credit for the way he’s instilled the importance of off-ball movement in the Jays. The combination of Joe’s ingenuity and the Jays’ willingness is deadly. Here are the Celtics using the TWolves’ gameplan against them. Don’t want to switch McDaniels off of Tatum, well that can lead to miscommunications and overhelp.

When Tatum sets the flare screen on NAW, Minny asks him to fight over the top and stick with White, which would keep McDaniels on Tatum. But the screen is too good, White’s movement too precise, and Horford’s passing chops too excellent and they have no choice but to switch, late. Because they switched so late, the corner help creeped in to prevent an easy White layup. Horford sees it, bullet pass to a wide-open Jaylen for a corner three. Bang.

They have also developed as off-ball manipulators. Regularly cutting into traffic to grab a crowd and allowing their teammates to take advantage.

Or, finding themselves a mismatch with screens and smarts. I think this play by Tatum especially highlights how far they’ve come as basketball players.

There’s no specific direction here from Mazzulla. This isn’t a play call. This is a dude who understands the gameplan — get McDaniels off of me — and he executes it from the jump.

The Jays no longer need to beat you themselves. Jaylen Brown no longer drives into crowds without a plan. Instead, he draws two and makes the right decision (sometimes that’s still barreling between defenders and finishing at the rim).

Jayson Tatum no longer feels the need to square up the best defender on the opposing team and get the better of him in an effort to prove his place in the league. Instead, he manipulates the entire defense, getting good shots for himself and his teammates.

Long story short, the Jays have matured. They’ve developed the most important skill in basketball — trust. They trust their teammates’ talent and their ability to exploit any advantage gained by the Jays. You no longer can “guard the Jays,” because to do that, you need to guard the Celtics.